In recent news, it has been reported that Alan Scott, the original Green Lantern, is gay. To which I have to say, couldn’t we all see this coming? His power comes a shiny, glowing ring, need I say more. I had a chance to sit and talk to some of the superheroes in Alan Scott’s crew about his coming out.
“I don’t much care”, says Batman, “It’s no skin off my back who you date, kiss or sleep with. As long as he does what he’s supposed to as a purveyor of good and justice and keeps to that weird Lantern code, he can do what he wants. Besides, maybe this will be inspiration for Robin to come out of the closet.”
“I’m not an anti-gay”, starts Superman, “but now I have to be conscious in the showers of the watchtower. I don’t want to give him any signals, you know. What if I’m fighting Lex Luthor and he blows of my shirt and cape? Do I have to worry about the Lantern being distracted because of my chiseled chest and abs? I mean I’m not going to revoke his membership or anything because I like to consider myself Gay friendly, but how can any man not fall for these crisp, chiseled looks?”
“Shouldn’t he join the Pink Lantern core”, says The Flash, jokingly, “or even the Rainbow core. But seriously, congrats to Alan on coming out! Way to go buddy! Oh! I bet he’s going to project all the floats for the next Gay Pride Parade! Last one I’m done.”
“I can’t say that I’m surprised,” says Wonder Woman, “he always seemed a bit uneasy about my outfit choice.”
Fellow Green Lantern, Hal Jordan had this to say: “I’m happy for Alan, but my concern is that people are going to think all us Green Lanterns are gay. I’m not gay. I love women, I went out with 4 to 5 lovely ladies last night. I’ve been hitting on Wonder Woman and Batgirl since I joined the League. I just hope this doesn’t put a blemish on the Lantern core”
Back in the real world…
So Green Lantern is gay, so is Gandalf, who cares? Really the Green Lantern is barely a superhero. Despite my total lack of respect for Superman, he still can fly, and dodge bullets, and use heat vision; in other words, real powers. Batman, aka the ultimate superhero, has detective skills, a utility belt, and even Robin to kick ass and take names. The Green Lantern has a little ring, powered by imagination. So basically any 4 year can be a Green Lantern (#nodisprespect).
Of course, this is starting to spark some out rage with mothers of the community. Here is what One Million Moms, a group of mothers who are about keeping filthy things away from kids, had to say:
This is ridiculous! Why do adult gay men need comic superheroes as role models? They don’t but do want to indoctrinate impressionable young minds by placing these gay characters on pedestals in a positive light. These companies are heavily influencing our youth by using children’s superheroes to desensitize and brainwash them in thinking that a gay lifestyle choice is normal and desirable.
Now I think it’s a bit absurd that all one million of you think this way. I feel like you guys are just lashing out to the world because you have a son that’s into dance or a daughter that thinks “Live Free or Die Hard” was a sweet movie. With that being said, is it really that bad a Gay Superhero is presented in a positive light? Every gay person I’ve met has been delightful. One of them was roommate in college and he was fantastic! We’re really close friends today and never once have I experienced his gay agenda. Beside how harmful can a group of people who’s flag is rainbow really be? They are influencing kids alright, but they are influencing them to be more accepting of other people’s beliefs and cultures.
My suggestion to you, 1 million moms, is either learn how to bake a cake or get a real job because nobody cares about what you’re barking about, especially if the lesson from your opposition is tolerance over an issue that most people are okay with.
I for one think this is a fantastic leap in the comic book world. Its about time really, and I’m every excited. It’s not like I’m surprise, like I said, it’s the Green Lantern but I’m happy for the gays. Maybe this will lead to Gay Comic Book Nerds! One can only hope (#batmansaysso)!