Against China

Countries that are pissed off at China over the imprisonment of Nobel Peace Prize Winner, Liu Xiaobo.

Norway: How could you decline such a prestigious prize? Why would you not want to join the ranks of those like Ernest Hemmingway, John Steinbeck, Winston Churchill and many more? What did we do?

Switzerland: It’s the Nobel Peace Prize! So does that mean you are against peace? If so then you are against the nation of Switzerland, hence you have instigated a war on peace. Prepare yourself for the most peaceful war you’ve ever fought China.

Nation of Islam: How could you guys imprison a guy for wanting democracy? That seems a little harsh don’t it? Ok, sure did we put a hit out on a writer that may have said a few pseudo bad things about Islam? Yes, but we did not imprison him! We just encouraged that he be beheaded.

Soviet Russia: We want to be clear and say we did not encourage China to do this. They are going to tell you that you that Russia got me drunk and suggested that a good way to stick to the Western world would be to imprison a Nobel Lauriat for a bogus charge, BUT It is not true. We can’t be more explicit about that.

United States: Um…You know we gave it a good go with Kerry talking to them and what not, but it didn’t really seem to work. So we’re going to say let by gones be by gones and send you a check real soon. And you know what? Don’t even worry about Switzerland, they’ll just send you mediocre chocolate. They’re very passive aggressive. We’ll talk to them about it. You guys just don’t worry about a thing.

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