Mcy D’s Wage Solutions

The War on Wages continue as reports come out that Former McDonald’s CEO, James Striker makes almost 2000 times more an hour than the average employee. There are still no reports on how much the current CEO, Donald Thompson makes. Asking about this will get a you thrown out of whatever building you’re in with a black bag over you head, as it is more secret than the secret recipe itself.

There is only one explanation for why there is such a vast distance between the wages of the CEO and the employee. Clearly, Thompson went to Clown College to get in touch with his roots and connect with the common man. This of course leaves him with a mountain of college loan debt since he was double major in Make Up & Puns with a minor in Ballooning. But I bet he just joined a Party Frat like the “Gamma House of Barum and Bailey’s Irish Cream Sauce Omega”, you know something real authentic that immerses themselves in Greek & Clown culture.

So really the Wage Wars come down to one thing, Colleges.  Universities are charging so much that CEOs that have no reason to go back to them are going back to them and drowning in debt to buy more a jetski or get a commission to have their head carved on to Mount Rushmore.

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