Wank Wars

Brigham Young University has come out with that ad above that claims that masturbation & watching some boobs on your Macbook Pro is comparable to a dying solider in a War. They claim it’s an addiction and if you see something, you should say something. You should say something, like “Bro, shut the door and don’t’ grip so tight!” But masturbation only becomes a problem when you do it so much that you can’t stand up because your legs have become useless from all the sitting. Or when your roommates are out of towels and they’ve become bricks in your room. You what is a problem you should talk to people about is Heroin. Tell your preacher, your mom, somebody because that’ll kill yah.

I think if you’re masturbating a lot it’s called not having a girlfriend or being between ages of 12-19. If you’re a real bro, you’ll help this friend out, not by introducing him to the lord, but that nice girl in the Economics class. You know the one, that dresses in those tight sweater dresses, but she’s got a huge rack under that blou….. I digress!

I find it astounding that people don’t have a public out cry when an ad like this comes out. It’s basically telling you keep it all in let it build up. Don’t release your endorphins but push them back till you get frustrated and blow up, like maybe on an Ad about Coke that promotes loving your fellow man…you know like Jesus said you should. Basically what I’m saying here, if you hate Coke, you hate your fellow man, hence hate porn and masturbating and no endorphins are released, hence are an angry Mormon that hates fun and happiness. No amount of Hail Mary’s can help you out there.

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