Ottowa, Canada—Intergalactic Religious Group, the Raelians want an embassy built in Canada to welcome their alien lords, the Elohims, to Earth. The Raelians believe that the Elohims created the humans as a social experiment and the way to get them here is to build them an intergalactic embassy. This will then lead to the Earth getting the advance scientific research and secrets of the universe that the Elohims possess. The United States is not very happy the Raelians didn’t consider the States.
“I mean come on! We’re nice here! We’d love those scientific research stuff to crush our….I mean advance medicine for the world,” says Senator Mitch McConnell (R-KY), “We just want to be included! It’s just not fair!”
The Raelians responded with by saying that state of immigration reform in the States proves that the Elohims will be treated with hostility and they’d rather work with the friendly Canadians who enjoy their topless chicanery.
“We’re going to push for Raelian bill that says the extraterrestrials won’t be treated as the current aliens in this country,” claims McConnell, “We’ll grant them automatic citizenship, give them tax exempt status and Lexus! Who doesn’t want that? That’s got to get those topless, advanced beings to build their space thing on U.S. soil right?!”
Immigrants that have worked so hard on in the States are growing more impatient at the state of immigration reform and are planning a protest.
“I don’t get it. Hasn’t the government denied the existence of aliens? Now they are giving them citizenship?” asks Juan Valerdez, an immigrant that works 2 jobs, “Are you telling me all we have to do is take our tops off and say that we are from another planet and we get citizenship? Hell, I’ll do that now!”
Following this statement, there were silent topless protest on Mitch McConnell’s lawn by immigrants looking for citizenship. Only the men were hosed off. After hearing this the Raelians were still unsure about working with the United States, but are considering talking to Mexico because “those people have the right kind of moxy we are looking for!”