The New Mass Extinction

Satire by Comedian Krish Mohan

There are some that say the Earth goes through as many mass extinctions as Dr. Who goes through regenerations and companions. For those of you not in the Nerd circle, this statement basically says we are now in the early stages of the sixth mass extinction and the blame is on the Human race. Because of rapid population and industrial growth the planet has lot a ton of species of mammals. But there are some that think otherwise.

Humans aren’t to blame here,” says Chaz Brentwood, the lead conspirator of the next mass extinction, “Humans are the catalyst for the next round of extinctions. We are Mother Nature’s right hand of cleaning up the planet. Why else would we dominate and take over the planet. If we weren’t the herald for Nature why would over 400 species of vertebrates and invertebrates be wiped out!?

Brentwood goes on to say that we are the chosen species and reason why we evolved the way we did was to wipe out certain species off this planet. It’s humanity’s manifest destiny. He says that we are the asteroid of the sixth extinction.

But when the issue of over population, rapid industrialization and the spread of disease was brought up Brentwood started tearing up and saying that’s vile propaganda put out there by the “unbelievers” of the Human cause.

Other scientists are saying the way cure this is to go back to way things were. We should tear down the buildings and the other concrete structures and go back to bare necessities and become hunter-gatherers here.

A third group says we should just shut up, grow up and accept our fate and see what the next group of animals to rise up is.

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