This Classroom Ain’t Big Enough For the Both Of Us

Commentary by Comedian Krish Mohan

We’ve all seen the movies, where the nice teacher enters a classroom and those damn urban kids are sitting there with semi-automatic weapons and rocket launchers. What’s a teacher to do?! Texas Representative Dan Flynn (R [duh]) is trying to get a bill passed to say that Teachers can use excessive force against students as a form of self defense. This makes no sense, considering most schools don’t look like a scene from Platoon.

Teachers right now have the right to carry in the classroom, under the Teacher Protection Act. Just in case a game of kickball goes awry, Mr. Smith can pull out his glock and restore order in the gym, which is like a sweaty classroom. This bill that Flynn is trying put forward will allow them to not only carry and use their weapon on all school grounds, including busses, but also not be liable of injuries or deaths. Proving once and for all “guns kill people not people”…wait…

Flynn is also trying to push a bill to allow firearms in college campuses. Yes, because what else are you going to mix with vodka at a rager? Orange juice? Pansy! The correct answer is an AK-47.

Of course the rationale reasoning behind this is to try to prevent tragedies like Sandy Hook. But arming teachers and making them the “Militia with the Answer Book” is no way to take care of this issue. Studies have shown that more guns lead to more crimes. A better response would be have parents and teachers working together to make sure the mental health of students is positive and if they are having issues to help them get over it the best way they can.

The issue of race is also a concern, considering we’re looking at Texas. Kids of an ethic background seem to get into more trouble than white kids do. If an edgy and armed teacher doesn’t like something a Latino kid is doing they can fire away, leading to the start of a real race war in country. At this point we don’t trust cops, we really don’t need add educators to this list. Our education system is struggling enough let’s not arm it with another reason to. Although it would’ve made that cliche movie idea a little more interesting, but it’s not worth it.

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