Sunset for Section 215

Commentary by Comedian Krish Mohan

The Patriot Act gave the government access to the information of the American people in the name of Freedom, Protection and George Bush (both of them). 15 years later there are some parts of this bill that are being put to bed. One of these being Section 215, which includes the information revealed by Edward Snowden called “Collect It All”. This gave the government access to all our information on our computers, phones and more. It even let the government spy on some other nations and organizations like Unicef. Classic move of the an organization helping children would be part of terror cell, right? Well now we know for sure, they are not. But let’s keep listening in anyways. With this section being put to bed perhaps it’s time Edward Snowden came back to the U.S. No? He’s still a traitor for not being able to just wait 2 years? Well what about the good he’s done? No? It’s all bad?

Of course this brings up the issue of Surveillance Reform. Soon enough the government won’t be able to spy on it’s on people using the Patriot Act as a veil. But that just means they’ll come up other ways. This will probably lead to a ton more government officials hiding in the bushes listening in on your phone calls and trying to read your texts with binoculars. This is going to increase the number Peeping Toms claiming they are government officials to get away with their very illegal form of spying. The reform calls for more clear and specific language in the new bill that will most likely come into play. It can’t include phrases like “Maybe we will, maybe we won’t! Who knows! Get the new iPhone!” Although credit goes to Apple for getting an ad in the possible upcoming bill. There should also be some disclosure on what the government is trying to look at when they spy on us. Regardless of whether do or not, at this point there is going to be a culture of fear with the government spying on us. We might as well know what the hell we are fearing. When you finally see the boogeyman’s face you either shriek or say “Eh, that’s not that bad. I can’t believe I was afraid of this” This proves how insecure our government is. It’s like a high school girl that is wondering whether the jock is talking about her not! The government shouldn’t act like the plot of a Freddie Prince Jr. movie!

So what happens to the all the information they’ve gathered? It must get destroyed right? Nope, they get to keep it. That means there’s going to be FBI agents that have all our nudes in a file marked “The Good Times” and that one photo of me dressed as a Victoria’s Secret Model! That was one time and I didn’t know I hit reply all in that email! But now that I’ve been transparent about this the government can’t lord this information over me. So if they are transparent about the fact they are still going to look at all our data and inane conversations we wouldn’t be as pissed when we find out! Maybe they can reveal when Edward Snowden gets to come back into the country too. No?

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