The Dispatch! The Bizarro Trump!

They call Shri Thanedar the Bizzaro Trump. So he must be someone that quells the panic of anyone on the left or calls themselves a Democrat! Probably poor, but really good speaking and is actually honest instead of just saying they’re honest as they lie to the people’s faces. That’s the tell of a liar is when they preface every sentence with “Trust me I’m being honest here!” Thanedar must also be a tan by birth instead of buying tanning cream made by birth juice or the medical term for it, placenta. That would truly make him a Bizzaro Trump. Also he was a woman would help too, but that imagery might make some conservatives heads explode and that’s a janitorial mess as well as a human rights violation.

Shri Thanedar is one of those things. He’s an Indian Immigrant. He’s got a sketchy reputation though. He’s currently running for the Governor of Michigan as the progressive candidate. But right now progressives don’t trust and the Democrats hate him. Why? Well that’s because Thanedar is a millionaire that is funding his own campaign and some things don’t line up the way some progressives would like about a Candidate.

Thanedar has a classic rags to riches to story though. He took care of his family in India after his dad was forced to retire. And he came to states got his citizenship and a degree in Chemical engineering and bought Chemir and turned it into a multi-million dollar company. Now one of the critiques from Politico is that he’s bragged about his $6.5 million home to the news in 2006. I feel like MTV Cribbing your house isn’t really criminal or malice, it’s human. When people that have never had money come into it, they do some showy things with it, because it’s kinda big deal. Politico’s white privilege is showing and if they ever found it, they’d do an expose on it and then implode.

He made sure his kids were well taken care of. He lost his wife to suicide and re-married a few years later. He’s been in bankruptcy, sold his company and wrote a book. Aside from the India thing, a lot of this sounds like Trump. Which means we’re all the same and race is probably a construct used to distract us from the real issues of economic control by the rich and the elites.

So what’s the issue with him if he’s got a pretty wholesome story. According to Adrian Hemond, the owner of the political advocacy group Thanedar hired, his story was a Republican one. Which is kind of a fucked up thing to say. Like Democrats can’t be hardworking, rags to riches immigrants that want to use their money for public good? That’s ridiculous. That’s actually neither party. If Republican trickle down actually worked we’d all be flaunting our homes like Shri Thanedar.

Thanedar went against their advice and ran as a Democrat instead. Hemond also claims that he was unsure about where he stood on a lot of policies. According to Hemond, Thanedar said he’d take the most popular opinion on issues like abortion and guns. Ok so basically a Democrat. Hopefully he’ll transcend the party a little more and actually act on what the people want, you like a Democracy is supposed to. If people say they want better regulations on the gun lobby that Thanedar actually does it instead the barrage of thoughts and prayers both parties have thrown into the firing chamber.

Thanedar feels attacked by both sides because he is a millionaire trying to be on the side of people by championing progressive, Bernie Sanders-esque ideals. At this point he claims to be pro-choice, pro-LGBTQ, pro immigration and all about universal healthcare and education. His one question is how we’re going to pay and that’s what he wants to work with. This is important, because he might actually get the attention of some conservatives and Republicans and pull into the progressive narrative. Which would mean that this possibly confused millionaire immigrant did something no Democrat has ever done. Talk to a Republican citizen. Like really talk to them.

Kelly Coulsin, the Michigan Democratic Chair of the Progressive Caucus, claims that she is terrified of Thanedar because she’s uncertain of what he might do. What if he ends the massive amounts of income disparity in Detroit and other parts of Michigan?! What if he talks to the people the Upper Peninsula of Michigan like their actual humans instead of the mole people of 1945!? What if he gets clean drinkable water for the people of Flint?!

Ok look I get I don’t trust people with money either. Usually that means there’s an agenda. But sometimes these millionaires know they’re fucked if they pull the middle class out of the ditch they convinced us to dig for ourselves. Coulsin’s fear comes from the fact that he’s donated to McCain’s and Rubio’s candidacy as well as Clintons, but not to Bernie’s. And to be fair, based on some of Bernie’s speeches, Thanedar wasn’t really his target market for donations. PLUS, people do grow change and evolve. He might’ve been on the fence a year ago and firmed his beliefs after he learned about the issues. Maybe he feels bad that he didn’t donate to Bernie and now he’s putting his money where his mouth should have been!

So I’m sure the question is where do I, as a Socially Conscious Indian Comedian, stand on Shri Thanedar. Honestly, I’m not sure. He could be the cobra in the grass for Michigan progressives. But he could be a reformed millionaire that wants the idea of trickle down to work with socialist progressive ideals. And if he is, we can’t shun them for mistakes made in the past. We’ve all gotten a big paycheck and looked at John McCain and thought he was making sense. We can’t loose allies in the fight for logical progressivism. I’ll be keeping my eye on Shri Thanedar because for fucks sake we need better Indian representation in the Political world! Even if it is someone vaguely bizarro!

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