TransContinental: The Recreational States + Colorado’s Mountain Majesty!

We finally hit the recreational states. States where Marijuana was fully legal, which was great. We got to go to a dispensary in California. That was an odd experience. It was kinda hidden, we had to give our ID to an armed guard. Then we were split up and I had to wonder if I was going to see my fiancé every again! Then I had to give my thumbprint, eye scan, a piece of my DNA and then they scanned my drivers license! Then we got a secondary waiting zone, I guess to reunite the people. Then we go into the room with the weed to wait in line to see a Budtender which is just a cute way of saying drug dealer.

And look they were super friendly. They knew what we need, what the dummies were, how much to take. But it was a very sterile and uptight experience for a plant that’s meant to chill you the fuck out. And as we’re leaving I just thought, why aren’t we doing this with guns? Every gun store I see is like right next to a Target, which is a dick move in my opinion. And there’s no cute nickname for Arms Dealer that runs that store. Like “Pistol Proprietor” or “Baron of Barrels” or “the Clicker” or whatever. It’s just ‘Doug’.

Our favorite experience with the legal states was in Eugene, OR. Nice little hippy town. You know granola. That’s how you know it’s a nice place when we compare it to a breakfast food. It’s gonna be crunchy and can mix with almost anything and it’s going to be good for your body, granola. The woman that ran the dispensary was awesome. We only had to show our IDs once. She knew the farmers of the weed. It was amazing.

Outside this dispensary though, was a man that very loudly and I assume passionately yelling about his lord and savior Jesus Christ. I assume he was just mimicking hero. I doubt Jesus had a PA when did the sermon on the mound. So he was just yelling the word of the lord from a hill at passers by! And everyone was “Yeah, what’s with the loud jew?!

What sucked about this dude is like man if he turned around it’s right there! The dispensary is right behind you. One sample toke and he would’ve been like “Oh man, I totally get it now! I get what Jesus was sayin’!” And yes I’m implying that Jesus was high. That’s how he got people to listen. After he was just yelling the sermon on the mound, he was like “Man I need to chill out!” And Judas gave a little herb and things were fine.

Colorado was fun. It was really fun to be in a state where I didn’t hit the speed limit once. Not once! I love being in a state where going the speed limit means you’re an aggressive driver! The speed limit in Colorado is 75mph. Never hit it once. I feel like that’s a consequence of the weed. Everyone is high all the time going “Look at the mountains! They’re majestic! I know we live here Debra but damn that’s just amazing! Can you believe it?!

Look for an old man like me that’s awesome. I just looked at that and I just it was nice that everyone was being safe and cordial. You don’t get that in the East Coast. I had someone in Denver wave to me in traffic! That doesn’t happen on the East Coast. If you wave in the East Coast, people are like “I’ll kill you and your family! I hope you die in a fire!” Not in Colorado, they’re all my friends. The East Coast is like “we got places to be, people to hate!”No one is mad about traffic. When it all comes to a safe stop, they all just go “OH my god, would just look at those mountains!

I do think that weed should be legalized. Colorado just made a billion dollars out of weed sales alone! They’re using that to fund education, drug education, homes for the homeless, infrastructure costs and even the opioid crisis. And people get upset by this and say “oh it’s drug money! Your funding education via drug money!” Fine, till the government and legal means actually funds education we’ll go ahead gladly take the drug money to get school supplies and education for kids. Hell we’ll get a high in the schools so they can stomach the cafeteria food.

The current Attorney General as of this date, Jeff Sessions is massively anti-weed. In fact he was on the side of the KKK till he found out of their members smoked weed which then made them bad people. I think Jeff Sessions is just scared that if he does smoke the weed he’d discover how shit of a human being he is and have actually contend with that. Plus is anyone astounded that KKK smokes weed and IS STILL racist?! What? How are you racist after you smoke something that reminds you that we’re all interconnected by every molecule in the earth and the universe that surround it? Which proves they’re either getting shit weed or smoking oregano.