Taboo Table Talk #35-Semotics & Singular Identity Problem with Ian Insect

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Comedian & Actor Ian Insect talks to Krish about the use of language and how it contributes to our actions and our behavior. Plus stories about violence with tamborines and comedian roasts.

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Taboo Table Talk #21-Comedy & The Maple Bar with Max Rosenblum Part 2

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Comedian Max Rosenblum and Krish Mohan dig deeper into Comedians taking accountablity for their words. Plus they discuss who would be their Male Hollywood Crushes and material they find challenging. Part 2 of 2

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#Gamergate-Ruining Nerd Culture

Commentary by Comedian Krish Mohan

Gamergate, the hashtag trend that sparked a movement of ethics in game journalism and evolved into gamers sending death and rape threats to prominent women in gaming. This completely comes out of left field. The traditional gamer is seen as the nerdy kid, with thick rim glasses, a mountain dew and sitting in their mom’s basement with 2 of their other nerdy friends. But there are definitely not seen as evil folk sending out death threats and misogonistic tweets and messages into the world.

All of this is just really bad press for the nerds out there! It’s one thing to harass women, which is awful in and of itself, but come on guys, it took years for that word to mean something positive. It used to mean that you were a outcast because of your smarts or a deep passion for something. Then it transformed into being something positive. Finally you weren’t getting a swirly because you’re really into Halo or the X-Men. Now it’s going to mean that you are really into something cool…oh yeah and hating women! Goddamnit we worked so hard and it’s all about to be undone in a matter of weeks. So much so that athletes, like former Minnesota Viking’s Kicker Chris Kluwe, want to use nerds as a football and kick a field goal with our chests…just like the old days.

Here’s the point Gamergate nerds, you should be nice to women and want to include good strong female characters in your games. The only strong female character that isn’t dressed in a bra with armor is the computer lady from Halo. And she’s not real. She’s an AI. Then you become like Joaquin Pheonix from ‘Her’ further proving all the weird things you heard about yourself in High School about banging your computer. You’ll find that if you are nice to women out there and use your public awkwardness to your advantage, eventually they will show you their boobs. Thats right you’ll actually get to see real unpixelated boobs in your face! Then you tell Chris Kluwe, “Take that! I don’t need biceps or kick prowess! I can get boobs in my mom’s basement with use of my kind words and my thumbs!

 

Fork Full of Noodles with Krish Mohan-50-The Legend of Scubs Brady

Fork Full of Noodles with Krish Mohan

Questions are answered as the most epic tale is revealed in the Legend of Scubs Brady!


BONUS: Krish and the Legacy of Scubs Brady

BONUS: Miranda Lafluer and the Love of Scubs Brady

BONUS: Brenda McClaren and the Downfall of Scubs Brady

BONUS: Scubs Brady’s Security

BONUS: Sheldon Smoot and the Content of Scubs Brady

Written by: Krish Mohan
Starring: Krish Mohan, Mary Stewart, Michael Buzelli, Kat Caringola (Follow @Pink_Kattillac) and Derek Minto (Follow @BringstheRuckus)
Directed by: Krish Mohan
Music by: Max Somerville
Cinematography by: Alex Murphy (Follow @AlexCMurphy)

The New World according to Affirmative Consent

Commentary by Comedian Krish Mohan

The days of the 80’s movie where Molly Ringwald is pressure into sex by her high school boyfriend is over! Thanks to Affirmative Consent there is a clear line and definition for what is Sexual Assault and what isn’t. The new law from California says that both people in the sexual encounter need to say yes clearly and be fully conscious and not under the influence of drugs or alcohol. This is putting to rest all the cliché excuses by guys about when try to have sex with a girl.

Well she wouldn’t be dressed that way if she didn’t want to do in the back of my car.
Wait a second, when did clothing mean you want to have sex? Isn’t it the lack of clothing that determines whether or not you want to have sex?

Well she was doing shots with me all night!
So will an alcoholic but that doesn’t mean he likes you and it definitely doesn’t mean he wants to see you naked in the morning. Although, that would be a sobering moment for any alcoholic.

She was giving the flirty eyes!
That’s just called blinking.

This new law really defines what is sexual assault and what isn’t.

If your partner is tripping in your room…on nothing, because of the 8th Jagerbomb they’ve had, that’s sexual assault. But if they’ve been drinking a glass of that Spanish Wine and says they wants to be with you after a nice dinner, Affirmative Consent.

If the person you were with is hiding in a Macy’s pretending to be a manikin and pounces on your and drags you into a changing room, that’s definitely sexual assault. Also stalking and mental instability. But if they say they want to rip that cheap Macy’s hoodie and those Target jeans you got on sale of your body, that’s Affirmative Consent.

Although, the term “Let’s Fuck” is a gray area still.

But the question to be asked is, where are we as a society that we need to define this what is considered sexual assault vs. consent. We’ve hit this point where there is a major pressure on sex and how much sex you’re having. Societies have crumbled because of people weren’t getting laid enough. Wars were started because some girl said no. Countless movies have been made that revolve around the idea of losing one’s virginity. As animals we have this innate need to spread our DNA around as fast and as much as we need to, but in reality, we’re overpopulating the world so we should probably cool with telling people that they need to be having sex more.

This is going to change the way relationships are going to be approached in the future. Since everyone is worried about miscommunication that could be considered sexual assault, people will just be more direct about things. Men can come over to women and say “I like your body and just want to have sex. You up for it?” and the answer is no, then they can move on to the next one in line. There will be a steady decline in romance. Girls don’t get to play coy when it comes to the bedroom. They get to tell you exactly what they want, when they want it.

I’m gonna miss those days of the pursuit, and having the will they, won’t they sitcom romance. I guess the harsh realities of the real world it is. What I’m really trying to say let’s not forget the classic romances of the 80s & 90s and how good of a show “Friends” was.

The First Break-Up

Commentary by Comedian Krish Mohan

The very first relationship I was in was when I was in High School and I was actually the person that ended that relationship. This always comes as a shock to people considering I’m a lanky nerdy kid now and back in High School all of those traits were amplified. This is probably started my affinity to date white girls and start my mission to turn the world beige. Now this relationship ended when this girl I was dating went to my best friend at the time and said she wanted to see other people, but not break up with me. This was a nice sentiment as she gave a disclaimer to cheat on me.

Now being my friend, he told me what happened and as a young 15 year old kid that was drenched in angst and unstable emotion I didn’t really know what to do. I went home and I was crying, I was horny (mostly because when your 15 your always horny) so I’m masturbating; so I Crysturbated. This was the one and only time I did, so there shouldn’t be any judgments from anyone! Besides I was 15 and seemed like it was a good idea at the time.

After this emotional fun fest I had playing every emo-punk pop CD in my collection, I decided to confront this girl and end the relationship. When I had that conversation I did on a Monday morning which is best time to break up with anyone. You not only ruin that person’s day but every other person they come into contact with. It’s like a domino effect of hate that just keeps going. It’s like the movie “Pay it Forward” but without the positivity or Jim Caviezel. But I decided to bring my best into the break up. I kept pointing at him and saying “He told me what you’re going to do!” Immediately he was looking for a way out like he was in Scooby Doo cartoon escaping from a villain. For some reason that friendship continued to keep going.

After dating me she dated the whitest guy on the planet. This guy was so white I also dated him. He was like his own night-light. She basically dated the anti Krish Mohan. Figures.

Full Gay

A few years ago when I was still in college, I had a friend of mine come out of closet to me. I’m always a fan of being true to yourself and I was glad that he felt comfortable with me to do so, but the way he did was a bit off putting. I had known this gent in high school and he claimed to be bi-sexual, which is really gay light or diet gay we know where this is going. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel and there’s a shirtless guy ready to catch you and take you on the journey of your dreams, or so I’m told.

So fast forward about 2 years after high school, we hadn’t seen each other in a while and I got text from this friend of mine and we decided we’ll go on a drive and so we did. Now when I got into this car, my friend opened with a very detailed story of him a younger gentleman had done in the privacy of their bedroom. This is not what I had asked him. I opened up with “Hey, how are classes?” and he responded with “BUTT SEX!”. Now that is not a class I’m particularly interested, because I feel like you need a butt, for butt sex. The problem with this is not that I’m uncomfortable with gay sex or anything, I just don’t like the detail of anyone’s sex life, gay or straight. If this would have been a conversation with a straight friend which went:

Friend: Bro, totally boned Lisa last night.

Me: Nice good for you dude. [Hi five]

Friend: Alright let me tell how!

That interaction is creepy on all accounts. I’m just happy that you got laid by the lady or gent that you wanted to, but I don’t need to know the details or the positions involved because chances are I’ll have to make eye contact with that person at some point in the future!

While we drove around in this coming of age situation, he used the term “full gay” in reference to his sexual orientation. I don’t think gay is ever a part time orientation. I think when you finally figure out that you are gay, you get all the full time health benefits, 30-days paid vacations, company car, a separate bathroom…Although that last one may not be a perk. But the point is there are no U-Turns rainbow road; and for those of you that have played Mario Kart you know this is apt metaphor, because long, windy and Princess Peach & Yoshi are going to win at the end of it.

Fork Full of Noodles with Krish Mohan-34-The Revenge of the Pornographers

The defense against the scumbags that posting photos on Revenge Porn websites.

BONUS: The various forms of acceptable revenge

BONUS: The sexts from the FCC Guy [Alternative Take]

Written by: Krish Mohan (http://ramannoodlescomedy.com) & Ray Zawodni (Follow @RealLifeZawodni)
Starring & Improvised by: Krish Mohan & Woody Drennan
Directed by: Krish Mohan
Music by: Max Somerville
Cinematography by: Alex Murphy (Follow @alexcmurphy)
Filmed at Catapult PGH